{"id":4316,"date":"2026-03-03T19:52:11","date_gmt":"2026-03-03T19:52:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/harcum.am\/?p=4316"},"modified":"2026-03-03T19:52:11","modified_gmt":"2026-03-03T19:52:11","slug":"v-tu-chvili-jsem-si-poprve-uvedomila-ze-vedle-me-nestoji-partner-ale-instruktor-a-ne-jen-tak-obycejny-instruktor-spis-prisny-dozor-ktery-si-usmyslel-ze-vi-lepe-nez-ja-jak-mam-zit-jist","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/harcum.am\/?p=4316","title":{"rendered":"V tu chv\u00edli jsem si poprv\u00e9 uv\u011bdomila, \u017ee vedle m\u011b nestoj\u00ed partner, ale instruktor. A ne jen tak oby\u010dejn\u00fd instruktor \u2014 sp\u00ed\u0161 p\u0159\u00edsn\u00fd dozor, kter\u00fd si usmyslel, \u017ee v\u00ed l\u00e9pe ne\u017e j\u00e1, jak m\u00e1m \u017e\u00edt, j\u00edst a dokonce i d\u00fdchat."},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>St\u00e1li jsme v kuchyni. Dr\u017eela jsem v ruce l\u017e\u00edci a ochutn\u00e1vala pol\u00e9vku, kterou jsem va\u0159ila podle receptu sv\u00e9 babi\u010dky. On mi ji jemn\u011b, ale rozhodn\u011b vzal z ruky.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"782\" src=\"https:\/\/harcum.am\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/image-30.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-4317\" srcset=\"https:\/\/harcum.am\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/image-30.png 1024w, https:\/\/harcum.am\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/image-30-300x229.png 300w, https:\/\/harcum.am\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/image-30-768x587.png 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201eM\u011bla bys omezit s\u016fl,\u201c \u0159ekl. \u201eZadr\u017euje vodu.\u201c<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Zasm\u00e1la jsem se. Myslela jsem, \u017ee si d\u011bl\u00e1 legraci. Neusm\u00e1l se.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Byl to drobn\u00fd moment, t\u00e9m\u011b\u0159 bezv\u00fdznamn\u00fd. Jen\u017ee podobn\u00fdch drobn\u00fdch moment\u016f za\u010dalo p\u0159ib\u00fdvat. Koment\u00e1\u0159e k tomu, kolik sp\u00edm. Jak rychle chod\u00edm. Jak sed\u00edm u stolu. Jak d\u00fdch\u00e1m p\u0159i cvi\u010den\u00ed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201eD\u00fdchej hloub\u011bji. Takto si ni\u010d\u00ed\u0161 pl\u00edce.\u201c<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201eNem\u011bla bys p\u00edt k\u00e1vu po \u010dtvrt\u00e9 hodin\u011b.\u201c<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201eTohle tri\u010dko ti neslu\u0161\u00ed. Zv\u00fdraz\u0148uje ramena.\u201c<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Nejd\u0159\u00edv jsem si \u0159\u00edkala, \u017ee mu na mn\u011b z\u00e1le\u017e\u00ed. \u017de chce, abych byla zdrav\u00e1, upraven\u00e1, spokojen\u00e1. Jen\u017ee p\u00e9\u010de m\u00e1 jin\u00fd t\u00f3n. P\u00e9\u010de naslouch\u00e1. Tohle bylo n\u011bco jin\u00e9ho.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Za\u010dala jsem si v\u0161\u00edmat, \u017ee ne\u017e n\u011bco ud\u011bl\u00e1m, p\u0159em\u00fd\u0161l\u00edm, co by na to \u0159ekl. Kdy\u017e jsem si cht\u011bla d\u00e1t dezert, sly\u0161ela jsem jeho hlas je\u0161t\u011b d\u0159\u00edv, ne\u017e otev\u0159el \u00fasta. Kdy\u017e jsem se rozhodla z\u016fstat d\u00e9le v pr\u00e1ci, u\u017e jsem p\u0159edem c\u00edtila jeho nesouhlas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201eM\u011bla bys l\u00e9pe pl\u00e1novat.\u201c<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201eM\u011bla bys v\u00edc cvi\u010dit.\u201c<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201eM\u011bla bys b\u00fdt disciplinovan\u011bj\u0161\u00ed.\u201c<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Slovo \u201em\u011bla bys\u201c se stalo na\u0161\u00edm t\u0159et\u00edm spolubydl\u00edc\u00edm.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Jednoho ve\u010dera jsme byli na n\u00e1v\u0161t\u011bv\u011b u p\u0159\u00e1tel. Sm\u00e1la jsem se, vypr\u00e1v\u011bla historku z d\u011btstv\u00ed, trochu jsem p\u0159eh\u00e1n\u011bla, jak to ob\u010das d\u011bl\u00e1m. On m\u011b p\u0159eru\u0161il.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201eTo nen\u00ed p\u0159esn\u00e9,\u201c opravil m\u011b p\u0159ed v\u0161emi. \u201eBylo ti dev\u011bt, ne deset.\u201c<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>M\u00edstnost na okam\u017eik ztichla. Usm\u00e1la jsem se, ale uvnit\u0159 m\u011b n\u011bco k\u0159uplo. Ne\u0161lo o v\u011bk. \u0160lo o pot\u0159ebu m\u00edt pravdu. O pot\u0159ebu m\u011b korigovat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Cestou dom\u016f jsem ml\u010dela. On si toho v\u0161iml.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201eCo se d\u011bje?\u201c zeptal se.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>A tehdy mi to do\u0161lo.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Nestoj\u00ed vedle m\u011b partner. Partner stoj\u00ed po boku, n\u011bkdy se op\u0159e, n\u011bkdy ustoup\u00ed. Vedle m\u011b \u0161el instruktor. N\u011bkdo, kdo m\u011b hodnotil, upravoval, tvaroval podle sv\u00e9 p\u0159edstavy efektivn\u011bj\u0161\u00ed, zdrav\u011bj\u0161\u00ed, lep\u0161\u00ed verze.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Jen\u017ee j\u00e1 jsem nebyla projekt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201eP\u0159ipad\u00e1m si vedle tebe jako studentka,\u201c \u0159ekla jsem ti\u0161e. \u201eNe jako rovnocenn\u00e1 \u017eena.\u201c<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Nech\u00e1pal. Tvrdil, \u017ee mi chce pomoci r\u016fst. \u017de m\u011b motivuje. \u017de bez discipl\u00edny \u010dlov\u011bk stagnuje.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Mo\u017en\u00e1 m\u011bl v n\u011b\u010dem pravdu. Mo\u017en\u00e1 jsem ob\u010das chaotick\u00e1. Mo\u017en\u00e1 si d\u00e1m druh\u00fd kol\u00e1\u010d, i kdy\u017e prvn\u00ed sta\u010dil. Ale byly to moje chyby. Moje tempo. M\u016fj \u017eivot.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Za\u010dala jsem si v\u0161\u00edmat, jak se m\u011bn\u00ed m\u016fj hlas. Byl ti\u0161\u0161\u00ed. Opatrn\u011bj\u0161\u00ed. Jako bych p\u0159ed ka\u017edou v\u011btou skl\u00e1dala zkou\u0161ku.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Jedno r\u00e1no jsem se probudila d\u0159\u00edv ne\u017e on. Sed\u011bla jsem na balkon\u011b s hrnkem k\u00e1vy \u2014 po \u010dtvrt\u00e9 hodin\u011b odpoledn\u00ed bych si ji u\u017e nedala, ale r\u00e1no jsem si ji je\u0161t\u011b dovolila. D\u00edvala jsem se na pr\u00e1zdnou ulici a p\u0159em\u00fd\u0161lela, kdy jsem naposledy ud\u011blala n\u011bco bez vnit\u0159n\u00edho koment\u00e1\u0159e.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Uv\u011bdomila jsem si, \u017ee l\u00e1ska nen\u00ed v\u00fdcvikov\u00fd t\u00e1bor. \u017de vztah nen\u00ed program sebezdokonalov\u00e1n\u00ed pod dohledem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Kdy\u017e se probudil, sedla jsem si naproti n\u011bmu ke stolu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201eNechci b\u00fdt \u0159\u00edzen\u00e1,\u201c \u0159ekla jsem klidn\u011b. \u201eNechci, abys m\u011b opravoval jako text pln\u00fd chyb. Pot\u0159ebuju, abys m\u011b p\u0159ij\u00edmal.\u201c<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Dlouho ml\u010del. Mo\u017en\u00e1 poprv\u00e9 nem\u011bl p\u0159ipravenou radu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Nev\u00edm, jak n\u00e1\u0161 p\u0159\u00edb\u011bh skon\u010d\u00ed. Mo\u017en\u00e1 se nau\u010d\u00edme mluvit jinak. Mo\u017en\u00e1 zjist\u00edme, \u017ee hled\u00e1me ka\u017ed\u00fd n\u011bco jin\u00e9ho. Ale v tu chv\u00edli jsem v\u011bd\u011bla jist\u011b jedno:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Rad\u011bji budu nedokonal\u00e1 sama sebou ne\u017e dokonal\u00e1 podle ciz\u00edho n\u00e1vodu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>A kone\u010dn\u011b jsem se nadechla \u2014 ne podle instrukc\u00ed, ale podle sebe.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"St\u00e1li jsme v kuchyni. Dr\u017eela jsem v ruce l\u017e\u00edci a ochutn\u00e1vala pol\u00e9vku, kterou jsem va\u0159ila podle receptu sv\u00e9 babi\u010dky. On mi ji jemn\u011b, \n<a class=\"moretag\" href=\"https:\/\/harcum.am\/?p=4316\"> [...]<\/a>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4317,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4316","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-news"],"views":136,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/harcum.am\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4316","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/harcum.am\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/harcum.am\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/harcum.am\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/harcum.am\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4316"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/harcum.am\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4316\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4318,"href":"https:\/\/harcum.am\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4316\/revisions\/4318"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/harcum.am\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/4317"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/harcum.am\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4316"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/harcum.am\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4316"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/harcum.am\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4316"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}