{"id":4307,"date":"2026-03-03T19:49:39","date_gmt":"2026-03-03T19:49:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/harcum.am\/?p=4307"},"modified":"2026-03-03T19:49:39","modified_gmt":"2026-03-03T19:49:39","slug":"bylo-mi-dvaaosmdesat-let-prezila-jsem-manzela-prezila-jsem-i-sveho-syna","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/harcum.am\/?p=4307","title":{"rendered":"Bylo mi dvaaosmdes\u00e1t let. P\u0159e\u017eila jsem man\u017eela. P\u0159e\u017eila jsem i sv\u00e9ho syna."},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Nikdy jsem si nemyslela, \u017ee tohle vyslov\u00edm nahlas. Kdy\u017e jsem byla mlad\u00e1, st\u00e1\u0159\u00ed mi p\u0159ipadalo jako vzd\u00e1len\u00fd ostrov zahalen\u00fd mlhou. A smrt? Ta pat\u0159ila jin\u00fdm rodin\u00e1m, ciz\u00edm p\u0159\u00edb\u011bh\u016fm v novin\u00e1ch. Ne mn\u011b.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"874\" src=\"https:\/\/harcum.am\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/image-27.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-4308\" srcset=\"https:\/\/harcum.am\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/image-27.png 1024w, https:\/\/harcum.am\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/image-27-300x256.png 300w, https:\/\/harcum.am\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/image-27-768x656.png 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>M\u016fj mu\u017e ode\u0161el p\u0159ed patn\u00e1cti lety. Infarkt, tich\u00fd a ne\u010dekan\u00fd. Je\u0161t\u011b r\u00e1no si st\u011b\u017eoval na po\u010das\u00ed a ve\u010der u\u017e jsem sed\u011bla v nemocni\u010dn\u00ed chodb\u011b s rukama slo\u017een\u00fdma v kl\u00edn\u011b, jako bych \u010dekala na rozsudek. Byli jsme spolu t\u00e9m\u011b\u0159 pades\u00e1t let. Znala jsem ka\u017ed\u00fd jeho zvyk, ka\u017ed\u00e9 povzdechnut\u00ed. Kdy\u017e ode\u0161el, d\u016fm najednou ztichl tak, \u017ee m\u011b to bolelo fyzicky.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u0158\u00edkala jsem si tehdy, \u017ee alespo\u0148 m\u00e1m syna. Petra. M\u016fj smysl, moje pokra\u010dov\u00e1n\u00ed. V\u017edycky byl citliv\u00fd chlapec, p\u0159em\u00fd\u0161liv\u00fd, trochu uzav\u0159en\u00fd. Kdy\u017e byl mal\u00fd, dr\u017eel se m\u011b za ruku pevn\u011b, jako by se b\u00e1l, \u017ee zmiz\u00edm. Netu\u0161ila jsem, \u017ee jednou budu j\u00e1 ta, kdo z\u016fstane.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Autonehoda. Jedna kr\u00e1tk\u00e1 v\u011bta, kter\u00e1 rozd\u011blila m\u016fj \u017eivot na p\u0159edt\u00edm a potom. Bylo mu \u010dty\u0159iapades\u00e1t. M\u011bl rodinu, pr\u00e1ci, pl\u00e1ny. A pak telefon\u00e1t, kter\u00fd mi vzal posledn\u00ed jistotu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Na poh\u0159bu jsem st\u00e1la rovn\u011b, jako bych byla vytesan\u00e1 z kamene. Lid\u00e9 mi \u0159\u00edkali, jak jsem siln\u00e1. Nev\u011bd\u011bli, \u017ee s\u00edla n\u011bkdy znamen\u00e1 jen to, \u017ee se \u010dlov\u011bk je\u0161t\u011b nerozpadl, proto\u017ee na to nem\u00e1 prostor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Po jeho smrti jsem z\u016fstala sama v dom\u011b pln\u00e9m fotografi\u00ed. Ka\u017ed\u00fd r\u00e1m byl jako mal\u00e9 okno do minulosti. Petr na kole. Petr v maturitn\u00edm obleku. Petr s vlastn\u00edm synem v n\u00e1ru\u010d\u00ed. M\u016fj vnuk je dnes dosp\u011bl\u00fd mu\u017e, m\u00e1 sv\u016fj \u017eivot, svou rodinu. Nav\u0161t\u011bvuje m\u011b, vol\u00e1 mi. Ale mezi n\u00e1v\u0161t\u011bvami je ticho.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>A to ticho je jin\u00e9 ne\u017e d\u0159\u00edv.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Ve dvaaosmdes\u00e1ti letech se \u010dlov\u011bk u\u010d\u00ed \u017e\u00edt pomaleji. R\u00e1no vst\u00e1v\u00e1m opatrn\u011b, nejd\u0159\u00edv si sednu na okraj postele a po\u010dk\u00e1m, a\u017e se mi hlava p\u0159estane to\u010dit. Uva\u0159\u00edm si \u010daj, otev\u0159u okno a poslouch\u00e1m pt\u00e1ky. D\u0159\u00edv jsem sp\u011bchala \u2013 do pr\u00e1ce, pro d\u00edt\u011b do \u0161koly, na n\u00e1kup. Te\u010f nikam nemus\u00edm.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Lid\u00e9 se m\u011b n\u011bkdy ptaj\u00ed, jak\u00e9 to je p\u0159e\u017e\u00edt vlastn\u00ed d\u00edt\u011b. Neexistuje na to spr\u00e1vn\u00e1 odpov\u011b\u010f. Nen\u00ed to p\u0159irozen\u00e9. Matka by m\u011bla odch\u00e1zet prvn\u00ed. Tak to m\u00e1 b\u00fdt. Kdy\u017e se to obr\u00e1t\u00ed, sv\u011bt se naklon\u00ed pod zvl\u00e1\u0161tn\u00edm \u00fahlem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Bolest se \u010dasem zm\u011bn\u00ed. U\u017e nen\u00ed ostr\u00e1 jako n\u016f\u017e. Je sp\u00ed\u0161 jako k\u00e1men, kter\u00fd nos\u00edm v kapse. V\u00edm o n\u011bm. Ob\u010das ho stisknu v dlani, kdy\u017e si vzpomenu na jeho sm\u00edch nebo na to, jak mi \u0159\u00edkal \u201emami\u201c i jako dosp\u011bl\u00fd mu\u017e. Ten k\u00e1men tam bude a\u017e do konce m\u00fdch dn\u016f.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>A p\u0159esto \u017eiju.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>To m\u011b n\u011bkdy p\u0159ekvapuje nejv\u00edc. \u017de i po tolika ztr\u00e1t\u00e1ch dok\u00e1\u017ee \u010dlov\u011bk naj\u00edt mal\u00e9 d\u016fvody vst\u00e1t. Slune\u010dn\u00ed paprsek na stole. Vnuk\u016fv sm\u00edch, kdy\u017e mi ukazuje fotografie pravnu\u010dky. V\u016fn\u011b \u010derstv\u011b upe\u010den\u00e9ho kol\u00e1\u010de, kter\u00fd si je\u0161t\u011b zvl\u00e1dnu p\u0159ipravit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Nau\u010dila jsem se, \u017ee vzpom\u00ednky nejsou jen zdrojem bolesti. Jsou tak\u00e9 d\u016fkazem, \u017ee jsem milovala a byla milov\u00e1na. A to je v\u00edc, ne\u017e m\u016f\u017ee \u0159\u00edct ka\u017ed\u00fd.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Kdy\u017e ve\u010der sed\u00edm v k\u0159esle a d\u00edv\u00e1m se z okna, n\u011bkdy si p\u0159edstavuji, \u017ee tam n\u011bkde jsou \u2013 m\u016fj mu\u017e a m\u016fj syn \u2013 a \u017ee v\u011bd\u00ed, \u017ee se sna\u017e\u00edm \u017e\u00edt d\u016fstojn\u011b, i kdy\u017e u\u017e jsem unaven\u00e1.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Bylo mi dvaaosmdes\u00e1t let. P\u0159e\u017eila jsem man\u017eela. P\u0159e\u017eila jsem i sv\u00e9ho syna.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Nezbylo mi mnoho sil, ale z\u016fstala mi pam\u011b\u0165 a l\u00e1ska. A dokud d\u00fdch\u00e1m, nesu je v sob\u011b jako tich\u00e9 sv\u011btlo, kter\u00e9 ani st\u00e1\u0159\u00ed, ani smrt nedok\u00e1zaly uhasit.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Nikdy jsem si nemyslela, \u017ee tohle vyslov\u00edm nahlas. Kdy\u017e jsem byla mlad\u00e1, st\u00e1\u0159\u00ed mi p\u0159ipadalo jako vzd\u00e1len\u00fd ostrov zahalen\u00fd mlhou. A smrt? Ta \n<a class=\"moretag\" href=\"https:\/\/harcum.am\/?p=4307\"> [...]<\/a>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4308,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4307","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-news"],"views":468,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/harcum.am\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4307","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/harcum.am\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/harcum.am\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/harcum.am\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/harcum.am\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4307"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/harcum.am\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4307\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4309,"href":"https:\/\/harcum.am\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4307\/revisions\/4309"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/harcum.am\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/4308"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/harcum.am\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4307"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/harcum.am\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4307"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/harcum.am\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4307"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}