{"id":3324,"date":"2025-12-30T21:46:00","date_gmt":"2025-12-30T21:46:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/harcum.am\/?p=3324"},"modified":"2025-12-30T21:46:01","modified_gmt":"2025-12-30T21:46:01","slug":"divala-jsem-se-na-ni-a-mela-jsem-pocit-ze-prede-mnou-stoji-cizi-clovek-ne-ta-holcicka-kterou-jsem-vodila-za-ruku-do-skoly","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/harcum.am\/?p=3324","title":{"rendered":"D\u00edvala jsem se na ni a m\u011bla jsem pocit, \u017ee p\u0159ede mnou stoj\u00ed ciz\u00ed \u010dlov\u011bk. Ne ta hol\u010di\u010dka, kterou jsem vodila za ruku do \u0161koly."},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>St\u00e1la p\u0159ede mnou v p\u0159eds\u00edni, z\u00e1da op\u0159en\u00e1 o ze\u010f, ruce zk\u0159\u00ed\u017een\u00e9 na hrudi. Vlasy m\u011bla obarven\u00e9 jinak, ne\u017e jsem byla zvykl\u00e1, pohled tvrd\u0161\u00ed, ne\u017e bych si kdy dok\u00e1zala p\u0159edstavit. D\u00edvala se na m\u011b bez o\u010dek\u00e1v\u00e1n\u00ed, bez t\u00e9 otev\u0159enosti, kterou m\u011bla jako d\u00edt\u011b. A mn\u011b se v t\u00e9 chv\u00edli sev\u0159elo srdce. Ne proto, \u017ee by ud\u011blala n\u011bco \u0161patn\u011b, ale proto, \u017ee jsem si uv\u011bdomila, jak moc se zm\u011bnila \u2014 a jak m\u00e1lo jsem byla p\u0159ipraven\u00e1 to p\u0159ijmout.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"819\" height=\"1024\" src=\"https:\/\/harcum.am\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/12\/image-91.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-3325\" srcset=\"https:\/\/harcum.am\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/12\/image-91.png 819w, https:\/\/harcum.am\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/12\/image-91-240x300.png 240w, https:\/\/harcum.am\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/12\/image-91-768x960.png 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 819px) 100vw, 819px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Je\u0161t\u011b ned\u00e1vno jsem ji vodila za ruku do \u0161koly. Pamatuji si, jak si tiskla mou dla\u0148, kdy\u017e se b\u00e1la p\u0159ej\u00edt silnici, jak se ke mn\u011b tiskla, kdy\u017e se j\u00ed ostatn\u00ed d\u011bti sm\u00e1ly. Jej\u00ed hlas byl tenk\u00fd, ot\u00e1zky nekone\u010dn\u00e9 a sv\u011bt pro ni pln\u00fd jistot, proto\u017ee jsem byla nabl\u00edzku. Tehdy jsem m\u011bla pocit, \u017ee ji dok\u00e1\u017eu ochr\u00e1nit p\u0159ed v\u0161\u00edm.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Te\u010f p\u0159ede mnou st\u00e1la t\u00e9m\u011b\u0159 dosp\u011bl\u00e1 osoba. Se sv\u00fdmi n\u00e1zory, sv\u00fdmi tajemstv\u00edmi, sv\u00fdm tich\u00fdm vzdorem. Mluvila stru\u010dn\u011b, vyh\u00fdbala se m\u00e9mu pohledu a ka\u017ed\u00e9 m\u00e9 slovo jako by vn\u00edmala jako \u00fatok, i kdy\u017e jsem ho tak nemyslela. Najednou jsem nev\u011bd\u011bla, jak se k n\u00ed p\u0159ibl\u00ed\u017eit. Jako bych ztratila mapu, podle kter\u00e9 jsem se cel\u00fd \u017eivot orientovala.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Ten pocit cizoty byl bolestiv\u00fd. Ne proto, \u017ee bych ji nepozn\u00e1vala, ale proto, \u017ee jsem pozn\u00e1vala, \u017ee u\u017e m\u011b nepot\u0159ebuje stejn\u00fdm zp\u016fsobem. \u017de si buduje vlastn\u00ed sv\u011bt, do kter\u00e9ho m\u011b pou\u0161t\u00ed jen opatrn\u011b, po mal\u00fdch kroc\u00edch. A j\u00e1 jsem si musela p\u0159iznat, \u017ee \u010d\u00e1st m\u00e9ho smutku pramen\u00ed z oby\u010dejn\u00e9ho strachu \u2014 ze ztr\u00e1ty role, kterou jsem pova\u017eovala za samoz\u0159ejmou.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Vzpom\u00ednky se mi vracely ne\u010dekan\u011b. Jej\u00ed prvn\u00ed den ve \u0161kole, prvn\u00ed zklam\u00e1n\u00ed, prvn\u00ed slzy. V\u0161echny ty chv\u00edle, kdy ke mn\u011b b\u011b\u017eela pro \u00fat\u011bchu. Te\u010f st\u00e1la na m\u00edst\u011b a ut\u011b\u0161ovala se sama. A j\u00e1 jsem nev\u011bd\u011bla, jestli m\u00e1m ud\u011blat krok vp\u0159ed, nebo ustoupit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Do\u0161lo mi, \u017ee p\u0159ede mnou nestoj\u00ed ciz\u00ed \u010dlov\u011bk. Stoj\u00ed p\u0159ede mnou n\u011bkdo nov\u00fd. N\u011bkdo, kdo vyrostl z t\u00e9 hol\u010di\u010dky, kterou jsem znala, ale u\u017e j\u00ed nen\u00ed. A \u017ee moje role se nezmen\u0161ila \u2014 jen se prom\u011bnila. U\u017e nem\u00e1m v\u00e9st za ruku, ale st\u00e1t opod\u00e1l. Nab\u00edzet podporu, ne \u0159\u00edzen\u00ed. Naslouchat v\u00edc ne\u017e mluvit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Kdy\u017e jsme se na sebe znovu pod\u00edvaly, tentokr\u00e1t o n\u011bco klidn\u011bji, pochopila jsem, \u017ee ten odstup mezi n\u00e1mi nen\u00ed propast, ale most ve v\u00fdstavb\u011b. A \u017ee i kdy\u017e mi chyb\u00ed ta mal\u00e1 ruka v m\u00e9 dlani, m\u00e1m p\u0159ed sebou \u010dlov\u011bka, kter\u00fd si zaslou\u017e\u00ed respekt, d\u016fv\u011bru a \u010das.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Ne ta hol\u010di\u010dka, kterou jsem vodila do \u0161koly. Ale n\u011bkdo, koho se teprve u\u010d\u00edm pozn\u00e1vat. A mo\u017en\u00e1 je to tak v po\u0159\u00e1dku.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"St\u00e1la p\u0159ede mnou v p\u0159eds\u00edni, z\u00e1da op\u0159en\u00e1 o ze\u010f, ruce zk\u0159\u00ed\u017een\u00e9 na hrudi. Vlasy m\u011bla obarven\u00e9 jinak, ne\u017e jsem byla zvykl\u00e1, pohled tvrd\u0161\u00ed, \n<a class=\"moretag\" href=\"https:\/\/harcum.am\/?p=3324\"> [...]<\/a>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3325,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3324","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-news"],"views":937,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/harcum.am\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3324","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/harcum.am\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/harcum.am\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/harcum.am\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/harcum.am\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3324"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/harcum.am\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3324\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3326,"href":"https:\/\/harcum.am\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3324\/revisions\/3326"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/harcum.am\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/3325"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/harcum.am\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3324"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/harcum.am\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3324"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/harcum.am\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3324"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}