{"id":2851,"date":"2025-11-21T19:02:43","date_gmt":"2025-11-21T19:02:43","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/harcum.am\/?p=2851"},"modified":"2025-11-21T19:02:44","modified_gmt":"2025-11-21T19:02:44","slug":"otehotnela-jsem-s-cizincem-je-mi-40-jemu-65-milujeme-se-ale-okolnosti-naseho-seznameni-mi-nedaji-spat-mam-se-ditete-vzdat","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/harcum.am\/?p=2851","title":{"rendered":"Ot\u011bhotn\u011bla jsem s cizincem. Je mi 40, jemu 65. Milujeme se\u2026 ale okolnosti na\u0161eho sezn\u00e1men\u00ed mi nedaj\u00ed sp\u00e1t. M\u00e1m se d\u00edt\u011bte vzd\u00e1t?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Kdy\u017e jsem poprv\u00e9 uvid\u011bla Marca, m\u011bl na sob\u011b lehkou ln\u011bnou ko\u0161ili, kterou mu v\u00edtr zvedal jako plachtu. St\u00e1l na promen\u00e1d\u011b u mo\u0159e, op\u00edral se o h\u016fl \u2013 ne proto, \u017ee by ji nezbytn\u011b pot\u0159eboval, ale jak pozd\u011bji p\u0159iznal, kv\u016fli zvyku. D\u00edval se na z\u00e1pad slunce s takovou intenzitou, jako by se sna\u017eil zapamatovat ka\u017ed\u00fd jeho odst\u00edn. Nep\u0159ipadal mi jako \u010dlov\u011bk, kter\u00fd by vstupoval do \u017eivota druh\u00fdch. A u\u017e v\u016fbec ne do m\u00e9ho.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"869\" height=\"1024\" src=\"https:\/\/harcum.am\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/image-81.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-2852\" srcset=\"https:\/\/harcum.am\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/image-81.png 869w, https:\/\/harcum.am\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/image-81-255x300.png 255w, https:\/\/harcum.am\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/image-81-768x905.png 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 869px) 100vw, 869px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Byla jsem tehdy na dovolen\u00e9 sama. Po rozvodu jsem se v sob\u011b sna\u017eila naj\u00edt zbytky odvahy, radosti, smyslu. V\u0161echny kamar\u00e1dky \u0159\u00edkaly, \u017ee \u010dty\u0159ic\u00edtka je nov\u00fd za\u010d\u00e1tek, \u017ee m\u00e1m b\u00fdt hrd\u00e1 na to, co jsem p\u0159e\u017eila, a nau\u010dit se znovu \u017e\u00edt. Ale j\u00e1 jsem se c\u00edtila sp\u00ed\u0161 jako pr\u00e1zdn\u00e1 v\u00e1za \u2013 cel\u00e1, ale bez obsahu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Marc m\u011b oslovil \u00fapln\u011b oby\u010dejn\u011b. Pochv\u00e1lil mi klobouk. Pak se omluvil za svou angli\u010dtinu, kter\u00e1 ve skute\u010dnosti byla perfektn\u00ed. Nab\u00eddl mi m\u00edsto vedle sebe. A tam jsme sed\u011bli skoro hodinu, beze sp\u011bchu, jako bychom se znali u\u017e roky. Nevnucoval se, nep\u0159edv\u00e1d\u011bl, nevypt\u00e1val se. Jen byl \u2013 p\u0159\u00edtomn\u00fd, klidn\u00fd, v\u0159el\u00fd.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Kdy\u017e m\u011b dal\u0161\u00ed den pozval na k\u00e1vu, \u0161la jsem. A pak dal\u0161\u00ed, a dal\u0161\u00ed. \u010cas vedle n\u011bj byl jako ti\u0161\u0161\u00ed, bezpe\u010dn\u011bj\u0161\u00ed. Nebyl to ten typ star\u0161\u00edho mu\u017ee, kter\u00fd si chce dokazovat ml\u00e1d\u00ed, ani ten, kter\u00fd hled\u00e1 obdiv. Naopak. M\u011bl v sob\u011b pokoru, jemnost, a takovou laskavost, o kter\u00e9 jsem si myslela, \u017ee u\u017e v dne\u0161n\u00edm sv\u011bt\u011b ani neexistuje.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Zamilovali jsme se. Nebo aspo\u0148 j\u00e1 jsem se zamilovala. On tvrdil, \u017ee on to v\u011bd\u011bl u\u017e od prvn\u00edho dne.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>A pak p\u0159i\u0161el \u0161ok \u2013 ot\u011bhotn\u011bla jsem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Ve \u010dty\u0159iceti. Po letech, kdy jsem sly\u0161ela, \u017ee \u0161ance je miziv\u00e1. Po dvou ne\u00fasp\u011b\u0161n\u00fdch pokusech o IVF s b\u00fdval\u00fdm mu\u017eem. Po v\u0161ech t\u011bch chv\u00edl\u00edch, kdy jsem se sm\u00ed\u0159ila s t\u00edm, \u017ee nikdy nebudu m\u00edt d\u00edt\u011b.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Kdy\u017e jsem mu to \u0159ekla, chv\u00edli ml\u010del. Myslela jsem, \u017ee omdl\u00ed. Pak se mu rozt\u0159\u00e1sly ruce. Byla v tom radost, strach, \u00fa\u017eas, dokonce i vina. \u201eJsem star\u00fd,\u201c \u0159ekl. \u201eMo\u017en\u00e1 jednou p\u0159\u00edli\u0161 star\u00fd na to, abych t\u011b podpo\u0159il tak, jak si zaslou\u017e\u00ed\u0161.\u201c<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Ale neode\u0161el. Naopak \u2013 pevn\u011b m\u011b objal, jako by mi cht\u011bl \u0159\u00edct, \u017ee se m\u011b nikdy nepust\u00ed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>A te\u010f, kdy\u017e jsem zp\u00e1tky doma, v Praze, nesp\u00edm. Po\u0159\u00e1d mysl\u00edm na to, co n\u00e1m st\u00e1lo v cest\u011b hned od za\u010d\u00e1tku.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Sezn\u00e1mili jsme se na dovolen\u00e9, oba v dob\u011b, kdy jsme byli zraniteln\u00ed. On po \u00famrt\u00ed man\u017eelky. J\u00e1 po rozvodu. Mo\u017en\u00e1 jsme se jen op\u00edrali jeden o druh\u00e9ho. Mo\u017en\u00e1 jsme si byli pouze do\u010dasnou n\u00e1plast\u00ed na bolest. A co kdy\u017e d\u00edt\u011b p\u0159ich\u00e1z\u00ed jako d\u016fsledek iluze, ne re\u00e1ln\u00e9ho vztahu?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Moje rodina \u0159ekla, \u017ee jsem se zbl\u00e1znila. \u017de je to star\u00fd cizinec, kter\u00e9ho t\u00e9m\u011b\u0159 nezn\u00e1m. \u017de si m\u00e1m rad\u011bji naj\u00edt n\u011bkoho \u201enorm\u00e1ln\u00edho\u201c, v m\u00e9m v\u011bku. \u017de d\u00edt\u011b pot\u0159ebuje otce, kter\u00fd tu je\u0161t\u011b bude, a\u017e p\u016fjde do \u0161koly. Kamar\u00e1dky m\u011b st\u0159\u00eddav\u011b podporuj\u00ed a moralizuj\u00ed. A j\u00e1 jsem rozpolcen\u00e1.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Milujeme se \u2013 to v\u00edm. Ale sta\u010d\u00ed to?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>V noci hlad\u00edm b\u0159icho a p\u0159edstavuju si drobn\u00fd tlukot srdce. N\u011bco se ve mn\u011b probudilo. N\u011bco, co jsem roky potla\u010dovala, proto\u017ee jsem si myslela, \u017ee u\u017e nem\u00e1m pr\u00e1vo doufat. Ale pak se ozve rozum \u2013 ten tvrd\u00fd, ne\u00fastupn\u00fd hlas, kter\u00fd mi p\u0159ipom\u00edn\u00e1 v\u011bk, vzd\u00e1lenost, realitu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Marc mi p\u00ed\u0161e ka\u017ed\u00fd den. Pt\u00e1 se, jak se c\u00edt\u00edm. Pl\u00e1nuje, \u017ee p\u0159ijede, \u017ee si najde byt, \u017ee mi pom\u016f\u017ee. Nen\u00ed zaslepen\u00fd, ch\u00e1pe, jak slo\u017eit\u00e9 to bude. Ale \u0159\u00edk\u00e1, \u017ee d\u00edt\u011b je dar. I kdyby byl star\u00fd, i kdyby to bylo ne\u010dekan\u00e9, i kdyby n\u00e1m to p\u0159evr\u00e1tilo \u017eivot vzh\u016fru nohama.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>A tak stoj\u00edm p\u0159ed rozhodnut\u00edm, kter\u00e9 m\u011b d\u011bs\u00ed v\u00edc ne\u017e cokoli, co jsem kdy pro\u017eila.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>M\u00e1m se d\u00edt\u011bte vzd\u00e1t\u2014proto\u017ee okolnosti nejsou ide\u00e1ln\u00ed?<br>Nebo ho nechat vyr\u016fst v l\u00e1sce, kter\u00e1 p\u0159i\u0161la pozd\u011b, ale up\u0159\u00edmn\u011b?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Nev\u00edm. Ale jedno v\u00edm jist\u011b:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>A\u0165 u\u017e se rozhodnu jakkoli, u\u017e nikdy nebudu tou stejnou \u017eenou, kter\u00e1 odjela na dovolenou jen proto, aby zapomn\u011bla.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Kdy\u017e jsem poprv\u00e9 uvid\u011bla Marca, m\u011bl na sob\u011b lehkou ln\u011bnou ko\u0161ili, kterou mu v\u00edtr zvedal jako plachtu. St\u00e1l na promen\u00e1d\u011b u mo\u0159e, op\u00edral \n<a class=\"moretag\" href=\"https:\/\/harcum.am\/?p=2851\"> [...]<\/a>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2852,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2851","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-news"],"views":248,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/harcum.am\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2851","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/harcum.am\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/harcum.am\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/harcum.am\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/harcum.am\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2851"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/harcum.am\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2851\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2853,"href":"https:\/\/harcum.am\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2851\/revisions\/2853"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/harcum.am\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2852"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/harcum.am\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2851"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/harcum.am\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2851"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/harcum.am\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2851"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}