{"id":2194,"date":"2025-10-02T20:43:42","date_gmt":"2025-10-02T19:43:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/harcum.am\/?p=2194"},"modified":"2025-10-02T20:43:43","modified_gmt":"2025-10-02T19:43:43","slug":"divala-se-na-me-jako-bych-byla-blazen-rozhovor-pred-kostelem-ktery-mi-zmenil-pohled-na-viru","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/harcum.am\/?p=2194","title":{"rendered":"\u201eD\u00edvala se na m\u011b, jako bych byla bl\u00e1zen\u201c: rozhovor p\u0159ed kostelem, kter\u00fd mi zm\u011bnil pohled na v\u00edru"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Nebyla jsem v\u011b\u0159\u00edc\u00ed. Ne proto, \u017ee bych nev\u011b\u0159ila v dobro, ale proto, \u017ee jsem v \u017eivot\u011b za\u017eila p\u0159\u00edli\u0161 ztr\u00e1t, ot\u00e1zek bez odpov\u011bd\u00ed a ticha tam, kde jsem \u010dekala n\u011bjak\u00e9 znamen\u00ed. Kostely pro m\u011b byly jen historick\u00e9 budovy, v\u00edra jen n\u011bco, \u010demu se lid\u00e9 up\u00ednaj\u00ed, kdy\u017e u\u017e nemaj\u00ed na co jin\u00e9ho.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"683\" height=\"1024\" src=\"https:\/\/harcum.am\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/image-10.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-2195\" srcset=\"https:\/\/harcum.am\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/image-10.png 683w, https:\/\/harcum.am\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/image-10-200x300.png 200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 683px) 100vw, 683px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Jednoho ned\u011bln\u00edho odpoledne jsem se ale \u0161la proj\u00edt do star\u00e9 \u010d\u00e1sti m\u011bsta, kde jsem n\u00e1hodou minula otev\u0159en\u00fd kostel. Zvn\u011bj\u0161ku opr\u00fdskan\u00fd, nen\u00e1padn\u00fd. Ale n\u011bco m\u011b p\u0159im\u011blo zastavit. Ne\u0161la jsem dovnit\u0159 \u2013 sedla jsem si na lavi\u010dku p\u0159ed vchod a jen pozorovala.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Zanedlouho vy\u0161la ven star\u0161\u00ed \u017eena. Vlasy \u0161ed\u00e9, upraven\u00e9, na sob\u011b m\u011bla jednoduch\u00fd kab\u00e1t. Zastavila se u m\u011b a s \u00fasm\u011bvem \u0159ekla:<br>\u201eHezk\u00fd den, sle\u010dno. Nep\u016fjdete d\u00e1l?\u201c<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Usm\u00e1la jsem se a zavrt\u011bla hlavou.<br>\u201eNe, d\u011bkuju. Nejsem v\u011b\u0159\u00edc\u00ed.\u201c<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Chv\u00edli ml\u010dela a pak si ke mn\u011b p\u0159isedla.<br>\u201eA pro\u010d ne?\u201c zeptala se, bez odsouzen\u00ed, \u010dist\u011b ze zv\u011bdavosti.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201eProto\u017ee mi v\u00edra nikdy nic nedala,\u201c odpov\u011bd\u011bla jsem up\u0159\u00edmn\u011b. \u201eModlila jsem se, kdy\u017e mi um\u00edrala m\u00e1ma. Nic. Prosila jsem, kdy\u017e jsem p\u0159i\u0161la o pr\u00e1ci. Ticho. A kdy\u017e jsem z\u016fstala sama, \u010dekala jsem aspo\u0148 n\u011bjak\u00fd znak, \u017ee nejsem \u00fapln\u011b opu\u0161t\u011bn\u00e1. Ale nic se nestalo.\u201c<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Pod\u00edvala se na m\u011b \u2013 ne l\u00edtostiv\u011b, ale jinak. Hloub\u011bji.<br>\u201eA p\u0159esto tu sed\u00edte p\u0159ed kostelem.\u201c<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201eN\u00e1hoda,\u201c pokr\u010dila jsem rameny.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201eMo\u017en\u00e1,\u201c \u0159ekla ti\u0161e. A dodala: \u201eN\u011bkdy hled\u00e1me Boha jako telefonn\u00ed \u010d\u00edslo, na kter\u00e9 chceme okam\u017eitou odpov\u011b\u010f. Ale mo\u017en\u00e1 B\u016fh nen\u00ed odpov\u011b\u010f. Mo\u017en\u00e1 je to prostor, kde m\u016f\u017ee\u0161 ot\u00e1zky v\u016fbec polo\u017eit.\u201c<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>D\u00edvala jsem se na ni a c\u00edtila zvl\u00e1\u0161tn\u00ed sm\u011bs podr\u00e1\u017ed\u011bn\u00ed a z\u00e1jmu.<br>\u201eTo zn\u00ed jako fr\u00e1ze.\u201c<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Usm\u00e1la se.<br>\u201eMo\u017en\u00e1 ano. Ale v\u00ed\u0161, j\u00e1 jsem taky p\u0159i\u0161la o d\u00edt\u011b. Taky jsem k\u0159i\u010dela do ticha. A v\u00edra mi nedala odpov\u011b\u010f. Ale dala mi s\u00edlu to p\u0159e\u017e\u00edt. Ne proto\u017ee jsem pochopila pro\u010d. Ale proto\u017ee jsem p\u0159estala b\u00fdt sama ve sv\u00e9 bolesti.\u201c<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Byla jsem zticha. Poprv\u00e9 jsem nem\u011bla p\u0159ipraven\u00fd argument. Jen jsem sed\u011bla. A d\u00edvala se na jej\u00ed ruce, kter\u00e9 se m\u00edrn\u011b t\u0159\u00e1sly, ale byly pevn\u00e9.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Nakonec vstala.<br>\u201eNevad\u00ed, \u017ee nev\u011b\u0159\u00ed\u0161. B\u016fh nen\u00ed klub jen pro \u010dleny. Ale zkus n\u011bkdy vej\u00edt. Ne pro odpov\u011b\u010f. Ale t\u0159eba jen kv\u016fli klidu.\u201c<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>A ode\u0161la.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Od t\u00e9 chv\u00edle se n\u011bco zm\u011bnilo. Nep\u0159estala jsem pochybovat. Ale za\u010dala jsem se pt\u00e1t jinak. A n\u011bkdy \u2013 ve\u010der \u2013 si sednu, zap\u00e1l\u00edm sv\u00ed\u010dku a jen ml\u010d\u00edm. Bez ot\u00e1zek. Bez prosby. Jen tak.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>A ob\u010das m\u00e1m pocit, \u017ee to ticho u\u017e nen\u00ed pr\u00e1zdn\u00e9.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Mo\u017en\u00e1 se na m\u011b tehdy opravdu d\u00edvala, jako bych byla bl\u00e1zen. Ale n\u011bkdy pr\u00e1v\u011b v \u0161\u00edlenstv\u00ed najdeme ten kousek pravdy, kter\u00fd jsme tolik let p\u0159ehl\u00ed\u017eeli.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Nebyla jsem v\u011b\u0159\u00edc\u00ed. Ne proto, \u017ee bych nev\u011b\u0159ila v dobro, ale proto, \u017ee jsem v \u017eivot\u011b za\u017eila p\u0159\u00edli\u0161 ztr\u00e1t, ot\u00e1zek bez odpov\u011bd\u00ed a \n<a class=\"moretag\" href=\"https:\/\/harcum.am\/?p=2194\"> [...]<\/a>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2195,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2194","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-news"],"views":797,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/harcum.am\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2194","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/harcum.am\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/harcum.am\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/harcum.am\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/harcum.am\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2194"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/harcum.am\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2194\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2196,"href":"https:\/\/harcum.am\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2194\/revisions\/2196"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/harcum.am\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2195"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/harcum.am\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2194"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/harcum.am\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2194"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/harcum.am\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2194"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}